FLR101 : Introduction to Business Failure

How to sink your business in 5 steps 

(100% Guaranteed) 

Although the title seems a little odd, it might come handy for those who are at the peak of their careers where the delusion of invincibility climaxes . I know that you probably have read similar articles in the ocean of Internet blogs, but believe me these five steps have been, and even better yet is being practiced everyday. So buckle-up and get ready to dive into my ironic world.

Gather a team of losers and pay them monthly:

Do you think that all your employees are giving their bests to fulfill the job ? Well, they may not be doing so, and yet, even worse, you may not be aware of it so far. Depending on the number of departments you have, there will be people who will be trying to look busy and obedient to you at all times. However, when it comes to statistics to your customer complaints, jobs getting not done, or jobs getting messed up it may be too late for a recovery. You got to be conducting a performance analysis to figure out which gear in your system is not running well, or not running at all. Forgive me putting this bluntly, but GET RID OFF THEM !!! If not, you got your 20 points to complete your 100% failure.

Don't bother to listen to your mid-management:

Yes, don't bother...your managers don't know crap ! Most of the employers, bosses (or whatever you call them in your own business environment) can be seduced by the taste of power and start acting like a kind rather than a leader. The common feeling is that your boss tends to make him/her believe that s/he was alone while climbing up the stairs of that juicy success. So who the heck are you to judge or tell him/her something which can be very valuable. If you fail to practice 3L (Look, Listen, Learn) rule, you might as well add another 20 points to your guaranteed sinking.

Be lavish, and live extravagance:

Live today, and tomorrow will be another day ! Money can be dangerous when you don't have it; but what if you have it ? We all need and like money....there is no doubt about that. However, it would be nice to save some while it is pouring. Small savings on the leaking tabs, turned on lights when NOT needed in places where and when it is not needed, personal chauffeurs, loose control on your variable costs (which will also effect your break-even point), may seem like stinginess, but believe me it is not. A saved penny is your gain ! Never forget this and let your ego take control over your logic. In case of failing to do so, you deserve another 20 points on your sinking.

How are we doing so far ?
If you listen and practice all of the above, then you are more than half way gone by 60%...not bad huh? OK, let's continue then.....

Expect compromise from your employees:

Your mortgage on that yacht's loan is due that month, on top of that you had a call from your bank about the due date of the new month,machine leasing's payment, taxes cannot wait either right? Oh by the way, don't forget about your new Porsche's monthly payment....Sounds familiar? Who are you gonna squeeze on? Of course, your long waiting employees....well, they had been waiting for over two months by now, so they can wait another month too, right? After all, you gave them a job to survive...what else should you do? Your sales manager or, your logistics guys will and SHOULD understand you, right? Did I mention you to add another 20 points ?  :)

Aim for revenue and not for profit:

When you are conducting a business on the above mentioned three headings, you will need some cash to run your company to save the day. Yes, you heard me right; to save the day ! Because most probably, you will reach up a certain point where your revenue will exceed your expenses to cover them. Why? At the end of each month, simply you will end up with no profit. I really don't understand those CEOs who aim for revenue rather than profit which will lead an absolute need for a bank loan. If you are at this stage, and/or aiming for this, then you deserve a gold plated 20 points.


C'mon genius ! You can multiply 20 by 5 right?
Let me know if you need a calculator...or better yet, a good lawyer !