FLR101 : Introduction to Business Failure

How to sink your business in 5 steps 

(100% Guaranteed) 

Although the title seems a little odd, it might come handy for those who are at the peak of their careers where the delusion of invincibility climaxes . I know that you probably have read similar articles in the ocean of Internet blogs, but believe me these five steps have been, and even better yet is being practiced everyday. So buckle-up and get ready to dive into my ironic world.

Gather a team of losers and pay them monthly:

Do you think that all your employees are giving their bests to fulfill the job ? Well, they may not be doing so, and yet, even worse, you may not be aware of it so far. Depending on the number of departments you have, there will be people who will be trying to look busy and obedient to you at all times. However, when it comes to statistics to your customer complaints, jobs getting not done, or jobs getting messed up it may be too late for a recovery. You got to be conducting a performance analysis to figure out which gear in your system is not running well, or not running at all. Forgive me putting this bluntly, but GET RID OFF THEM !!! If not, you got your 20 points to complete your 100% failure.

Don't bother to listen to your mid-management:

Yes, don't bother...your managers don't know crap ! Most of the employers, bosses (or whatever you call them in your own business environment) can be seduced by the taste of power and start acting like a kind rather than a leader. The common feeling is that your boss tends to make him/her believe that s/he was alone while climbing up the stairs of that juicy success. So who the heck are you to judge or tell him/her something which can be very valuable. If you fail to practice 3L (Look, Listen, Learn) rule, you might as well add another 20 points to your guaranteed sinking.

Be lavish, and live extravagance:

Live today, and tomorrow will be another day ! Money can be dangerous when you don't have it; but what if you have it ? We all need and like money....there is no doubt about that. However, it would be nice to save some while it is pouring. Small savings on the leaking tabs, turned on lights when NOT needed in places where and when it is not needed, personal chauffeurs, loose control on your variable costs (which will also effect your break-even point), may seem like stinginess, but believe me it is not. A saved penny is your gain ! Never forget this and let your ego take control over your logic. In case of failing to do so, you deserve another 20 points on your sinking.

How are we doing so far ?
If you listen and practice all of the above, then you are more than half way gone by 60%...not bad huh? OK, let's continue then.....

Expect compromise from your employees:

Your mortgage on that yacht's loan is due that month, on top of that you had a call from your bank about the due date of the new month,machine leasing's payment, taxes cannot wait either right? Oh by the way, don't forget about your new Porsche's monthly payment....Sounds familiar? Who are you gonna squeeze on? Of course, your long waiting employees....well, they had been waiting for over two months by now, so they can wait another month too, right? After all, you gave them a job to survive...what else should you do? Your sales manager or, your logistics guys will and SHOULD understand you, right? Did I mention you to add another 20 points ?  :)

Aim for revenue and not for profit:

When you are conducting a business on the above mentioned three headings, you will need some cash to run your company to save the day. Yes, you heard me right; to save the day ! Because most probably, you will reach up a certain point where your revenue will exceed your expenses to cover them. Why? At the end of each month, simply you will end up with no profit. I really don't understand those CEOs who aim for revenue rather than profit which will lead an absolute need for a bank loan. If you are at this stage, and/or aiming for this, then you deserve a gold plated 20 points.


C'mon genius ! You can multiply 20 by 5 right?
Let me know if you need a calculator...or better yet, a good lawyer !

Generation Y.....The Androids

Betamax Video Casette for SONY C7 Video Player

For those of you who are in their early 40s like me, can remember 80s and 90s. Imagine a world where terms like, internet, cellular phones, texting, or sending an e-mail were obscure and unknown to most. We watched fewer TV channels, landline phones were kings, cars were just turning from bulkier to more compact forms, walkman was the king, casettes came in 45 - 60  or 90minutes types, video players started with Betamax system and white socks ruled.

I guess it was easier to fool your parents to have a sleepover in your friend's house and get wasted on Vodka, than getting lost with today's means of tracking devices like a cellular phone which doesn't allow you to disappear for one single second even if you wanted to. 

Then the Internet came along with computers taking the whole ball game into a different level. People could communicate in light speed, and at cheaper cost. Connecting people (Nokia's Slogan) were never made easier and more effective. We never anticipated a dramatic change in lives when a young nerd from Harvard called Mark Zuckerberg introduced Facebook in 2004 in USA where you simply added a circle of friends and shared thoughts, locations, images and ideas freely. Shortly after, a tiny blue bird called Twitter enabled our boxed in lives to reveal to the world. You could even share a photo of yourself while taking a sh*t with the rest of world. This was the beginning of new era for all the world and has created the famous "Generation Y".

 

All of a sudden, we started to share images, blogs, news (regardless officially confirmed or not), articles, and more which created a huge paradox in people's minds what to believe in. Although it is not the core of this article, but I think I will write on that one in the future as well. Today, we are living in an ocean of information, but God knows how much of it can be still reliable. As Andy Warhol said in 1968 "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes", I am now saying that today everyone has already became world famous with one tweet or by one image on facebook. In matters of seconds, millions of people can see you or your phrase in this virtual world and that can be scary. Look at the uprisings in Tunisia, Egypt, Brazil and Turkey lately. Most of the visual or written media is wither bought by the governments to share what really happens in the country, or their bosses are too chicken to broadcast the truth. So most the movement has communicated through social media, especially Twitter. 

However, is it safe to trust the information which was posted by a teenager? What if he or she tweeted an information which is not confirmed. Who to believe or not to believe? This is the political dilemma which threatens all nations right now and will continue to do so. Although websites gaining a lot power, I think when it comes to sharing member information with governments they did and will always bow to the power of state and share it. Fear of losing money will always be heavier than the urge to be a hero. Sad but true...

My criticism is to the people who share their utmost intimacy or privacy of their lives in social media. I mean, who the heck cares about where you were, or with whom you are with, and what you did. I totally think that it is mostly the cause of lonely or loveless childhood. Come off it, I know people who had virtually fallen in love with....holy cow ! How can you love someone virtually? Where did the passion go? Joy of touching a human tan? Ecstasy of tasting lips? 

I am sad for "Generation Y" types....I really am....they see life from a 14 inch screen, and live it on the face of a keyboard. So far away from feelings of actual human soul and heart. Time to take one step towards them to get a better understanding. Who they are or what they really want.

Before they end up becoming "Androids"...teach them arts, cooking, sewing, tooling, fixing a bulb, an international flag, to think of needy ones, not to be greedy, share life, share food, share love but furthermore teach them how to be flesh and bone.

Have a great weekend to you all....